Wednesday, 19 January 2011

The Ugly Truth about “Having a Bad Day”

We all feel a bit down every now and then...right?
Bad day via
And then, we naturally seek something to fix that feeling. 
We all seem to have our own way of dealing with it, but most of us find comforting sharing their feelings with others. Wife or husband, friends or work colleagues, your boss or your mates from social media sites. It seems to work most of the time and that is not because of what they have told you, but rather because they have listened. We are social animals after all and contact with others is incredibly beneficial especially in situation where you are a bit lost and want quickly find someone who knows how you feel. 

And then there is the ugly truth about sharing your state of mind where nothing seems to be straight. 

World is not always pink, and whoever pretends either in their life or on their blogs and websites that this is the case, is wrong and probably smokes something! It is like if you are asked on interview “What are your weaknesses?” and we all state silly things which we know for sure,  that will be either funny or hard to believe, and that it will leave none if not positive impression on your interviewer.
So what exactly happens when you are talking about your real weaknesses? Well, while everybody says that it is perfectly human to have bad days and that everybody has one every now and then, they are not lying, yet what they don’t tell you is that your “bad day” has quite possibly marked you down. Consciously by some, subconsciously by others. In the worst scenario your confession will make someone eating you alive. And if I say someone I really mean us. The natural selection can be really seen everywhere, and getting a job in HR is not an exception. It is the reality of the world where information means power and you can only take care of yourself and your family if you are one step ahead of someone else. Depressing? Hell yeah! But at the end of the day it is all about how much you can take. Why? Well, yes you are only human and you can feel a bit down every now and then, but take it home with you and share it with your wife or friends. Take a big breath and remember that very few if anyone at all, is interested in your whining. Also remember the day you wake up and nothing is impossible for you because this is the day which counts, not the one where you feel drowning. All you need to do is to make sure that only you know about “bad days” and share with the rest of the world the good ones only. Do you need help? - Maybe, but to start with, you need to chill out and remember that “Nothing is eaten as hot as it is cooked”.  

What would I do?
I would still share my weaknesses, as I believe that people should not be afraid of expressing themselves at the time when they have doubts, as that’s the time they need support but also a great source of feedback for their personal and professional development. The greatest truth I have learned about myself happened always when I was not afraid to admit what others kept for themselves. Nevertheless you also have to bear in mind the hidden consequences of sharing your Achilles' heel, therefore I would think twice about person I am sharing it with.

Final note
Sometimes I am getting feedbacks from my followers that I should avoid writing negatively on my blog especially if I am using it as a tool for my job hunt. Well truth is, that my blogging was always more about trying to share as much as possible with people at the beginning of their HR career and I think it is important for all HR beginners to know that having a bad day is normal, but learning how to deal with it in most appropriate way is a skill which we all have to learn. I have started to use my blog as a tool for presenting myself to potential employers, and then I have realized that this might affect the way I want to write about reality of HRbeginner’s life. I am willing to take the risk nonetheless, and go back to my initial mission of this blog. I am hoping to continue being inspirational for all HRbees who subscribed to my blog not only through showing off my strengths but also admitting my “bad days”. I also hope that to potential employers, my experience, skills and abilities as well as my love to this sector will always count more than occasional posts about ugly truth of “HRbeginner’s” life. I also realize that my writing can not always be a blog of choice and that I will have moments when I will appear to be less convincing, but I will tell you this: “I am the HR and a good one it is just my HR-world is not my oyster just yet”.   

To all HR beginners.
I am not an expert on many things and should you have one of these “bad days” you will have to find your own way how to tackle it. Nevertheless should you ever feel like sharing (stranger to stranger way) I am here to listen to say the least. Email me at, DM me via twitter @hrbeginner or call me 00447849854295

To all
 What are your bad days like? How do you cope with them?


cbolam said...

HR is a social construct, if it is not viewed through the paradigm of scientific management. Therefore only focussing on what is right, would be unreal. Equally by "probematising" as Foucault calls it, we develop our social contruct of what is good practice. Surely the social aspects of learning and inviting diverse thought, as you are, is a good thing. Yes company's can look at your blog, they want to see you are professional, no-one expects you to be perfect though, especially if you are a beginner.

Go on, share your thoughts if they are constructive and add value, good and bad :-)

HR Beginner said...

Thank you Caroline,
I would like to think that scientific management is long time gone. Nevertheless I am still coming across with people where employees are nothing but tools to generate revenue and that innovation, creativity, involvement and empowerment are the enemies of managers where overpowering everybody is the only way they can manage their human resources.
I will try and be as constructive as possible in my blogging and indeed try to add value to the HR community.
I really appreciate your comment and hope for more in the future.

kevin blumer said...

when i have a really bad day i useually just work hard very hard i just tire myself out then it doesnt actualy feel like a bad day better than just feeling down and feeling sory for yourself it useually works for me

HR Beginner said...

Hi Kevin, I know I am way out of date with my response to your comment. I can only apologise for that. I am glad you have strategy that works for you. Not sure if that is something I want to do when my day isn't shiny and happy. I have a tendency of trying to find out the cause of my "bad day" and so learn something from it. One thing we have in common though. I am too tired after that anything what helps to forget works for me. Usually it is time with friends, good movie, or simply go to sleep. Thanks for sharing and keep the great word spreading on your BPD blog. I will follow. you tweet?

emjtaylor said...

Peter I just saw this and love this... Feel like I'm getting to know the real you and you are a beautiful insightful person. It's true what you said, people don't like listening to whining.. Haha and I
Love your phrase "Nothing is eaten as hot as it is cooked". So true. Obviously I can relate to having bad days . What you said about being weary who you share things to..
Indeed but the people who are the least afraid to admit they're having a hard time or share their thoughts are the bravest. In regards to people previously saying you should avoid writing negatively in your blogs... HA. why because it shows you as human? Nothing wrong with expressing how you're feeling as long as there is a
Positive conclusion at the end of writing a negative
Article. That is my opinion anyway. Like you say having a bad day is normal and being able to deal
With it is what counts. You should continue to be you and post whatever you want. It is your blog after all. You are human and allowed to express yourself even if it's not always in the most positive way. That is what I do. It's difficult for me and I have to be so careful as a lot of entertainment industry people know me.. However, I'd rather be seen as human than a drone. ;)

Shows how much of a pure kind heart you have when you wrote your conclusion offering others to listen and for them to be able to email or call you.


Youre awesome.



HR Beginner said...

Thanks Emma, I am glad you like the post. It was reflecting certain period in my life full of personal challenges. Indeed it isn't much different today but let's say you learn to live your life on the go. I will be going back to blogging soon I hope as I myself miss it a lot.

Thanks for digging this one out of my archive and remind me where I was some time ago.

All the best.

emjtaylor said...

You are welcome... but you better start writing again in the next few months. I give you till October maximum!! haha!!
For some reason I like reading what is on your mind and it seems lots of others do too. You should write an update on now that you have your HR jobs and write a perspective on things have changed for you from job hunting peter to job-found peter. ^_~ Keep doing your thing.


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